Everyday something happens, moms emotions are up and down so it is a constant job to keep her spirits up. We have to make sure dad is emotionally well too. This is wearing them both down which means my sisters and I have to work harder to instill hope. If there is the smallest setback they refuse to see the positive no matter how we try. Keeping their spirits up and making sure they don't slide deeper into depression is a full time job. That's ok because we are their girls and we will always be there for them. We are lucky enough that us sisters are close enough that we can lean on each other. I feel like it's hard to process what is going on for myself. I talk to my husband and he's sympathetic and listens but it's never right. I don't know what I want him to say and I guess nothing will be what I want to hear.
I get tired. Tired of trying to cheer my parents, tired of the constant emotions on top of everyday life I walk around with and tired of not knowing how to express my anger, grief and heartbreak.
I will never lose hope but I want one day like it used to be before her diagnosis.
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